Concern: Gossip

What is the current topic of general conversation? Is it the up and coming presidential elections, the increased rate of unemployment, the economy and the war in Iraq? I guess it depends on ones interests. Likewise, what is the current topic of your conversation? Is it technically related, business related or music related or is it just gossip? I for one, pray that it is not the latter.

A friend of mine wrote an email yesterday and with passion she declared her disgust for gossip. She stated that she wanted no part of it and without a doubt will never be caught in the centre of it. Her rage towards gossip is one that I had never been exposed to. I have heard pastors preach about it and people tell me that it was bad, but this individual took it to a new height, one that led to my desire to really wanting to grasp the seriousness of it.

So what is gossip? Well, to some people its just friendly conversation, a catch up session or a chinwag. According to Wikipedia, some view gossip as a light hearted way of spreading information. However, in contrast by definition the term is very much negative. This is to say that gossip is defined as idle (malicious) talk about other persons (Collins Gem, 2001). With a more thorough deliverance, Wikipedia states that it is actual idol talk or rumour, especially about the personal or private affairs of others. Moreover, it is said to form one of the oldest and most common means of sharing facts and views, but also has a reputation for the introduction of errors and other variations into the information thus transmitted.

Given the crude description, it is easy to conclude that gossip is something that one wouldn’t want to dabble in. Unfortunately, gossip is common in our daily lives. For example, it is found in the morning paper, on our commute to work or school and at work or in the playground. We live in a society that consumes itself in gossip, it is almost unavoidable. The very existences of certain establishments are found on gossip, such as gossip columns, entertainment news and magazines.

If someone begins a sentence with “You will never guess what I’ve just heard?” or “did you hear about…..?”, nine times out of ten it will be the beginning of an idol and malicious conversation. Gossip can claim a number of victims; it has no respect of faith, race, creed, sex or class. Generally, gossip will lead to ones demise. However in very few instances it can lead to ones success, in my opinion, temporary success.

I have been a victim of gossip and rumours. But for what reason? I still don’t know. Gossiping turned to blatant taunts and then both physical and mental bulling in school between the ages of 14 and16. It was the most unpleasant experience I have ever had to go through. One persons fun and friendly chitchat becomes another persons hell. The more I isolated myself the more I was taunted. 10 years later, I have fully recovered from such experiences but only by the grace of God, literally.

God doesn’t like gossip. It is so serious that it is mentioned in the bible a number of times. Gossip is said to take the form of a seed. Gossip about one person can influence ones opinion about another without facts and that is also a form of prejudice.

The bible talks about the consequences of gossip as well. Proverbs 16:28 (NIV) is a good example. It reads “A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends.” where dissension is synonymous with disagreement and discord. Here we see that gossip separates people as a result of discord. Proverbs 26:20 (NIV) states that “Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down”. This shows us that the any normal disagreement can be resolved if gossip is not added or fuels the situation.

In addition, Romans 20:19 (NIV) informs us that “A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much.” In other words, a person who gossips will tell your secrets or your personal business and one should evade him or her. The New King James version warns us not to associate ourselves with such people.

What is more, in the New King James version, the word talebearer is used and not necessarily the word gossip. I don’t know why that is, but it holds more weight then the word gossip in my opinion due to the latter word being more socially accepted. In this context a tale can be said to be a libellous report or a report of a private or confidential matter. And someone who bears something is normally carrying or transmitting something (in this context). Together, what that means is that a gossip or talebearer is basically the carrier of incorrect or fake news.

Slowly but surely, I pray you are coming to the conclusion my friend did about gossip (in the earlier part of this article). There is nothing good about it. The only good reason one can supply, is one that has to be created as a view or opinion. But the facts, the definitions and biblical scriptures do not support the notion that it is good. I conclude that it is not friendly banter but redundant and spiteful conversation that should have no place in our hearts or minds.

Lastly, the bible tells us that “The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man's inmost parts” (Proverbs 18:8 & Proverbs 26:22 NIV). This is to say that choice delicacies are relished and eagerly devoured. Unfortunately so is gossip. Like choice morsels, gossip is something that stimulates the desire to want to know more and when that desire is fulfilled it gets into you. So that person can never claim that they had the best intentions, because that spirit of gossip has entered the nooks and crannies or their body, in other words, into unknown areas of ones members.

If you are a gossip (part-time, full-time, just a listener or a reader etc), my prayer is that you stop what you are doing and think about the repercussions your gossip is having on yourself, others and the subject you speak of. As I write this I minister to myself. Gossip is serious and severe. I promise you someone will get hurt. I ask you to pray now (in a quiet area) and ask God for forgiveness and repent. Ask him to change your heart and direction, so you are no longer involved in gossip (including the magazines).

God said “and you shall love the lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength. The second is this, you shall love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no other commandment greater than these." (Mark 12: 30-31 [NIV])

Love God first and then love and treat everyone the way you want to be treated. Jesus clearly said it “There is no other commandment greater than these.”